How Home, Change and Gratitude became my bedrock

Slinking into the classroom for the first time, I tried to look unassuming, but the teacher caught my eye and said, “There’s a free desk right here in the front row.” I took a deep breath, slid my books into the metal frame under my wooden chair, took out a notebook and pretended to write something in it. I knew what was coming next.

“OK, everybody. Let’s welcome, Kim. She’s new here and just moved from Germany.” All eyes turned my way and I could feel them starting at my out-of-place clothes. I forced a smile and a tiny nod.

I’d been in this situation 8 times by the time I was in the 10th grade — New kid. Middle of the school year. Uncertain. Unknown. Uncomfortable. Unsure of myself.

When you’re a kid in a military family, you’re called a military “brat”. I have no idea why, because most other brats I know are the most disciplined, successful and motivated people I’ve ever met. We’re also trained to deal with uncertainty and change from a young age, which comes in really handy when dealing with a crisis situation like the one we’re in now.

As the daughter of an Army helicopter pilot, our family got stationed at a new military base about every three years, and we often had to switch housing multiple times during those stints. Change became my middle name, and I learned a thing or two about managing my way through it.

Here are a few things I learned growing up in a military family that I hope supports you during this COVID-19 Pandemic:

The first lesson of military life is that “Home” is wherever you are at the moment.

We used to have a cross-stitched sign that hung in the bathroom that read, “Home Is Where The Army Sends You.” But really, you learn to source Home from inside of yourself.

You find Home by being connected to the people you love. Even if you’re forced to distance yourself physically, you don’t have to distance yourself emotionally. Know that you have a home inside of you and in the love around you that nobody can take away.

The second lesson is that change is the only constant.

Everything is changing all of the time. Seasons change. The world changes. People’s lives change. That’s just reality, but most of us would rather eat dirt than deal with big changes.

In the military change is thrust upon you. Change in location, language, culture, climate, housing, or circumstance can happen at any time, out of the blue. When you realize that change is natural, and release control of every little thing, you begin to allow life to be what it is — ever-changing. The journey of being alive becomes the thing you relish.

Which leads me to the third lesson…

None of us know how long we get to be here, so be grateful for the moments you have.

When a political upheaval happens in a faraway land, and your dad leaves in the middle of the night with no warning, you start to understand how precious every moment is.

When life is touch-and-go in times of war, in times of pandemic, in times of great uncertainty… love the life you have. Love the people you love. Speak your gratitude each and every day.

These three things have been my bedrock, and they’ve carried me far. I’ve traveled to over 37 countries, many of those times alone. I’ve lived on four continents, recreated my life and career multiple times, and made friends around the world who are now my global family.

Make these things your bedrock:

• Find your home inside of yourself

• Embrace change

• Be grateful for the moments you have

Be well, my friend. Know you are not alone. Know you are loved.

I want to send out a special message of thanks to our doctors and healthcare workers, the soldiers on the front lines of this battle. Thank you to all of the companies donating and pivoting to create masks and equipment. To the people helping their neighbors get food and supplies and care. To the countless people giving love and encouragement and smiles and songs to loved ones and strangers alike. Thank you. Bless you.

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Photograph By Technical Sergeant Cecilio M. Ricardo Jr., USAF — Public Domain