How to Elegantly Include Others in Your Decision-Making

So you want to be collaborative and inclusive when making decisions. Great. Step one of that process is to not be a Lone Wolf Leader.

Step two is to reach out to key stakeholders to get their input on the situation.

At this point, you might be thinking, “How can I do that without irritating the people whose input I choose not to incorporate in my final decision?”

In the end, you ultimately have to make the choices that you believe are best, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t reach out to others for input. You certainly shouldn’t be trying to make decisions by committee, which will only water down the best ideas in an ill-fated attempt to make everyone happy. 

Amazon’s Jeff Bezos is famous for his “disagree and commit” motto. In his 2016 shareholders letter, he wrote: 

This phrase will save a lot of time. If you have conviction on a particular direction even though there’s no consensus, it’s helpful to say, “Look, I know we disagree on this but will you gamble with me on it? Disagree and commit?” By the time you’re at this point, no one can know the answer for sure, and you’ll probably get a quick yes.

He also believes that decisions are reversible. If you end up making the “wrong” decision (ie., one that doesn’t provide the desired outcome), you can reverse course and try something new. I love this because it also removes the temptation to think, “I failed” when a decision doesn’t turn out as you expected. You didn’t fail — you just tried something that didn’t work. Change course and try something else!  

How can you realistically request input from others without leaving a path of hurt feelings and resentment in your wake? Let’s take a very practical look at this process. 

Assess What Matters Most To You And Your Team

You first need to determine what matters. And under the “what matters” category there are two subcategories: what matters to others, and what matters to you.

As leaders in a business environment, nearly all our decisions and priorities involve others: company leaders, stakeholders, clients, customers, colleagues, team members, board members, and so on. While leaders are still expected to be visionary, the “command and control” model is outdated (see my previous blog post). In today’s world, you are expected to be the embodiment of inclusion and collaboration.

In other words, many people are involved in the smooth operation of an organization, and more often than not, they need to be part of your decision-making process.

The only way to truly understand what matters to others involved in your decision is… to talk to them! Ask questions and listen actively to their responses. Here are some helpful questions to ask that will give you more insight into their assessment of the situation:

• What do you see as the core issue here?

• How does this issue affect you or your department specifically?

• What’s at stake here?

• From your perspective, what would an ideal outcome look like?

• From your perspective, what is the most viable solution?

These are good questions to ask yourself, as well. Thinking through each point critically will help you see where you are, where you’d like to end up, and what it might take to get there.

Understanding others’ perspectives (their “what matters” items) will help you see the situation from a bird’ eye view. You will ultimately make more well-rounded decisions and have the opportunity to empower others to be open and honest with their thoughts. 

Design by Committee Can Suck the Life Out of Any Initiative

You might be thinking, “Kim, I couldn’t possibly bring in everyone’s perspective to make decisions! That will take too long, and frankly, I don’t even want opinions from some people.”

You’re not wrong in thinking so! However, neglecting to gather information from others and trying to do it all alone isn’t the answer, either. Instead, you can be intentional about how you make your way through this process.

Consider that you don’t have to ask everyone for input. Instead, pull in the right trusted advisors for the project or decision to be made. Switch up your go-to advisors based on the problem set so you know you’re always bringing in the right people.

Further, be intentional about how much time you devote to fleshing out any given action plan. It might take more time to bring in a committee or thought partners and brief them on the decision, but a well-thought-out decision the first time around can save you time in the long run. That said, know your limit. Choose how much time you want to spend on it, make a choice, and move forward.

You Will Never Make Everyone Happy — But You Can Make Them Feel Valued

Sometimes leaders resist bringing others into the loop because of the inevitability that some people will be disappointed with the ultimate decision.

It’s true that you can’t make everyone happy all the time, and you certainly won’t be able to accommodate every suggestion that comes your way. At the same time, you’ll still need to find a way to explain your final decision so that all the people who contributed their perspectives feel heard and appreciated.

Communicating respect is key. The goal will be to express your truth (and your decision), especially when it disappoints them, in a way that still has them feel that you respect them. Avoid causing your team to feel undervalued, or speaking to them in a way that causes them to withhold their input in the future.

When you can build the necessary skills to do this, you will earn their respect and trust in return.

Gather Diverse Perspectives and Model Respect

It’s important to model the process of getting input, running with the ideas that work, eliminating those that don’t and respecting everyone in the process. 

When everyone sees it as a positive process, the people around you will trust that the next time you ask for their input, they’ll be respected and heard. This will also make them more likely to tell the truth in the future; they’ll know that even if you don’t take their advice, you still respect them.

This process is part of the reason that hiring for diversity is so important. As leaders, we want to incorporate as many different perspectives as possible to fully understand each facet of a big decision so that we can make the best choice. It’s up to you to lead the process and show everyone else the way.

Step into Leadership

The bottom line is this: when everyone walks away feeling whole, valued, and connected to the project — even if their suggestion or perspective didn’t make the final iteration — you’ve done a good job making the best use of each person’s unique perspective. Leading from this inclusive place is a skillset that you can build and refine over time, and it will help you make better and better decisions.

 If you’d like to deepen your work in this area, contact us. We can help you identify areas of improvement and create an effective strategy to move forward.